Liberal’s Theorem: Bush = God


Never a fan of Math in high school or college, one of the only disciplines I enjoyed was Geometry.

Geometry was the wonderful world of proofs that I enjoyed. It provided the rigorous mathematical argument which unequivocally demonstrates the truth of a given proposition.

A favorite example of this type of logic can be found in Douglas Adams masterwork “The Hitchhikers Guide to Galaxy.” It goes like this:

According to the Hitchhiker's Guide, the Babel fish was put forth as a fideist example for the non-existence of God:

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. Q.E.D."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

Just so we start from a common reference point the definition of God I am using for this Theorem is the following:

The term God refers to a specific monotheistic concept of a Supreme Being in accordance with Christian, Jewish, Muslim and some Hindu traditions. As it relates to Theism, the belief specifically in God, who is actively involved in maintaining the Universe.

By this train of logic, liberals across America (and the World for that matter) are substantively trying to prove that they believe George W. Bush is God. The theorem goes like this:

“It is George W. Bush’s fault that Terrorists attacked us http://www.fareedzakaria.com/articles/newsweek/101501_why.html It is George W. Bush’s fault that Katrina happened http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-f-kennedy-jr/afor-they-that-sow-the-_b_6396.html” say liberals.

"But," says a thoughtful thinker, "this is a dead giveaway isn't it? Only an Omnipotent being could wield the power you purport that this President has. It proves that he must be a Supreme Being, so therefore you are asserting that George W. Bush is God. Q.E.D."

"Oh dear," says the liberal, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes leaving behind only Birkenstocks and a Lesbian folksong CD.

My favorite part of the proof is the Q.E.D. at the end (which is an abbreviation of the Latin phrase "quod erat demonstrandum" literally, "that which was to be demonstrated").

President Bush is just a man, a flawed man at that. There are plenty of real problems which the country faces. While I do not purport to be Dick Morris, Paul Begala, or James Carville, here is some advice to my “Progressive” friends, three words, GET OVER IT.

Maybe you can use this as your rallying cry, hire the Eagles to follow around your candidates singing:

Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it

George W. Bush won twice. He is not going to be impeached. Try coming up with some plans of your own, and before you answer to quickly, stopping the Republicans is not a plan; it is a strategy.

As a parting thought, here are some free recommendations for your platform:

Focus on Natural Disasters
As a way to continue to criticize President Bush on Katrina, call for widely expanding programs to address the following:

1. Earthquake proof all structures west of the San Andreas Fault to sustain a 8.0 Richter Scale event. (You can even tie-in the 100 anniversary of the devastating 1906 San Francisco quake). With 35 millions people in California, versus 4 million in Louisiana, even a moderate earthquake could dwarf Katrina in its impact. Get out in front of this issue!
2. Catastrophic eruptions have occurred at Yellowstone National Park about 2 million years ago, then 1.2 million years ago, and then 600,000 years a go. Many credible scientists believe we may be due for another eruption. Seize on this fear, (if Yellowstone were to erupt at the same level as the most recent eruption, most of the Western U.S. would be covered in several feet of ash, agriculture and livestock would be wiped out, a 20 mile high plume of ash would cause a Volcanic winter). This makes Katrina look like some splashing at a wave pool. Don’t be the party that didn’t reinforce the levies, get ahead of this one by pouring billions into engineering efforts to avert a Yellowstone eruption.

Remember “Progressives,” Carpe Diem (which does not mean Bash Bush). At least I don’t think it does...

Since our 43rd President wields such omnipotent powers, you might worry that at the first sign of a political shift, he will exercise his total control of the physical universe and the minds of men to align all of these forces against you.

At least this gives you an excuse if you lose in 2006…

Get over it
Get over it
All this bitchin' and moanin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it

Not only will the Revolution not be Televised, It won’t even be discussed…

Let’s start with the facts, as Joe Friday might say.

In November 2, 2004, President Bush won re-election with a popular vote of 62,040,606 to 59,028,109 for his nearest challenger. He won 286 to 252 electoral votes. Thirty one states went to President Bush.

While it was not the landslide victory President Reagan won in 1984 (by a margin of 58% to 48%, with Vice President Mondale winning only his home state of Minnesota in the Electoral College), interestingly enough, Reagan received only 54,455,472, meaning 8 million more U.S. citizens voted for President Bush.

Even more interesting is that the 62 million and 52% thresholds were never achieved by the last 2 term President Bill Clinton (he received 49% of the vote, 45 million votes but did end up with a much more robust 379 electoral votes).

On October 09, 2004, Australian Prime Minister John Howard was re-elected to a historic fourth term. Howard is a staunch U.S. ally, and supports the war on terror and the invasion in Iraq.

On April 23, 2005 Silvio Berlusconi retained his role as Prime Minister of Italy. Loses to the opposition forced Berlusconi to form a new coalition with many of the same allies, but with some changes in the ministers and in the programs. Berlusconi is a staunch U.S. ally, and supports the war on terror and the invasion in Iraq. With the fourth largest contingent of troops, Italy plans to withdraw its presence in Iraq by the end of 2006.

On May 6, 2005, Prime Minister Tony Blair has won a historic third term in government for the Labour Party in the U.K. general election. Blair is a staunch U.S. ally, and supports the war on terror and the invasion in Iraq.

On November 22, 2005, Conservative Angela Merkel was elected as the first Female Chancellor of Germany. Merkel defeated Gerhard Schröder who did not support the U.S. led war in Iraq. Many early assessments believe she may be Germany's answer to Margaret Thatcher. Chancellor Merkel has actively sought to improve her country's relations with President Bush and the U.S., immediately finding common ground with efforts to halt Iran's nuclear program.

On January 24, 2006, Conservative Stephen Harper defeated Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin and pledged to quickly carry out his campaign promises to cut taxes, get tough on crime and repair strained ties with Washington after his party won national elections and ended 13 years of Liberal Party rule in Canada. Prime Minister Paul Martin did not support the U.S. led war in Iraq.

The first round of voting in the French election will not be held until April 22, 2007, with a second round (if necessary, which usually is the case) on May 6, 2007. It was rumored that President Jacques Chirac considered running for a third term. However, such a hypothesis seems increasingly remote, due to a series of political and personal setbacks to Chirac’s increasingly unpopular administration; the defeat of the proposed European Constitution he strongly supported, a 2005 health incident underlining Chirac's age; and, finally, the higher popularity of Conservative candidates.

So what am I missing? With the exception of Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar, whose countrymen decided to oust him after an election eve terror attack, I am at a lose to see how support for the U.S., support for the War in Iraq, support of Conservative ideas are the liability the mainstream media has made them out to be.

There may yet be a day of reckoning in November of 2006 for conservative candidates in the U.S. The media will televise that revolution. The term self fulfilling prophecy leaps to mind when I hear about the idea of the Democrats retaking government. The media wants it, they, shape the opinion, the people follow their lead, and Democrats win. However I take solace in two quotes from polar opposites ideologically:

Justice Antonin Scalia said " American people love democracy and the American people are not fools."

Contrast that to at a town hall meeting January 14, 2006, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said, “We were told you can't beat something with nothing.' And we said, 'yes we can.’ And we did!”

I am waiting for my 2006 Democratic Congressional bumper sticker “Had Enough of Something? Try Nothing. DNC 2006” Maybe they can recruit Robert DeNiro to recreate his Al Capone tirade from “The Untouchables,” “We’ve you got nothing! Were here 'cause we've got nothing. We've got nothing in court, we don't got the bookkeeper, we've got nothing! Nothing! And if we were men we would’ve done it now. We don't got a thing, you punks!”